I’ve never liked the idea of “year in reviews” being broadcast during the Christmas season. December is still part of the year, isn’t it? Just because everyone checks out around December 15th doesn’t mean stuff can’t happen. Right? With that in mind I hastily wrote out my year in review on a piece of coloured paper this afternoon, the first day of the year. Because inclusive.
January marked the end of my NHL disillusionment, the return of my Oilers disillusionment, the end of my tepid relationship with the WHL, and the start of something special with the AJHL. I’m sure some people have life events in January, but I sure don’t. Especially in January of 2013. The very next day I saw a rambling incoherent rocker play the Enmax Center in Red Deer, I also didn’t go to Mexico. That seems noteworthy for some reason.
February sucks. There is nothing that happens in February that makes February worth it. Except Olympic year February’s (Februaries? Februarys?) but there were no Olympics in 2013, so moving on.
March saw the Brier come back to Edmonton, and while Team Alberta stunk up the joint early in the week I attended as many draws as a could, I even considered sneaking to the 3-4 page game because a back door was left open all week. The high point was meeting Jamie Koe in the Patch. The low point was meeting Original 16 in the Patch. That stuff is warm Lucky Lager bad. Other than that March was not at all a pain in the ass.
The calendar on my phone says I didn’t do a damn thing in April. Next
I started May off by spraining my ankle, which is the suck. Not the suck was doing it on the 104th street stairs and managing to keep myself from falling down the 75 or so I had to go. I fixed my ankle by dumping a bag of ice into my garbage can and freezing it at work. This fixed me enough to allow myself to hurt my shoulder later in the month, an injury which I still haven’t recovered from. I also started using a code on my phone. If anyone knows what CCDB means, let me know. I did that A LOT in May.
June started my summer stretch of camping, or at least leaving the city, every weekend for about three and a half months. It also marked the beginning of my diet lifestyle change that eventually saw me losing 40 of the 25 pounds I put on between January and June. Notable in June was enjoying a tournament in Morinville for the first time and visiting Saskatchewan after a 9 year absence.
July saw a brief dalliance with not drinking (ended badly) and a briefer dalliance with gluten free (just ended). It was determined that a lifestyle choice still means I can enjoy life. The low point of July happened 5 miles north of Mundare when my vehicle was attacked by a pack of (I assume) feral dogs. My car suffered to flat tires at a cost while my car was moving. Stupid country dogs. Try getting two tires fixed on a Sunday in Mundare. I dare you.
August began with another trip to Edson. It was a shit show, but a shit show I really enjoyed this year. Another first! The highlight of the world’s largest slow pitch was hitting two grand slams in brown shorts against a very judgmental team. Sure I was called egotistical and ridiculous, but it’s hard to argue when I was reveling in my ego and ridiculousness. I don’t take myself seriously and neither should you. Highlights in August were a pair of camping trips that included a forced march up a mountain, a swim in a reservoir, a couple Alberta tourist traps, and my first visit to my adopted hometown. Unfortunately August also included the loss of a friend. It wasn’t a surprise, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. However, time keeps ticking forward, so on to….
September started with me continuing my tour of Alberta by following the Tour of Alberta. They showed me on TV and I got a water bottle! Not impressed? Screw you. What did you get out of it? I captained the winning team in a multi-event, two week competition at work. I’ll theoretically get a sweet prize for this, but I’m still waiting. Just like I’m still waiting for playoff hockey to come back to me. I miss you, playoffs. September saw the end of ball and camping season and the beginning of hockey season. I can’t remember anything else, so nothing else of relevance must have happened? Right? Right.
October saw the start of the NHL season and the elimination of the Oilers. Being a Tier 1 fan is nice, soooooo many benefits. In October I successfully fought a war against the black guy, successfully threatened war against the blue guy, and successfully ran away from a war with the purple guy. Sure some people would call that a massive defeat, but how does not being delusional help me? Notable events in October included shaking hands with one of my heroes and getting older, I guess.
November was a great month. I earned my only two happies of the year in November, purchased jorts, failed to get a #FireKevin chant going in Rexall Place, and watched a lot of really freaking cold football games. But you know what? Green is the colour, football is the game. Riders won.
December began with me being as far north as I’ve ever been. Yes that’s an arbitrary accomplishment, but it’s my arbitrary accomplishment. The next weekend I added a Crusaders jersey to my family and hope to have it taken in by a local tailor (seamstress?) sometime soon. After that, nothing happened. It’s like the entire world just shut down after the 15th. Strange, right? I concluded the year by getting sick and directioning as I held a successful coup and claimed the title VP, N.
Hope this helps,
Happy 2014.
Your One Stop Stalk 