A year ago I predicted the 6 things that would definitely be the top news stories in Alberta during 2014. As I tepidly step into the pool of accountability, let’s see how I did! Read my international new preview (reviewed) here.
Own This World was a smartphone game that ran from 2010 – 2014 which was best described as “Risk, but in real life”. The basic game was simple: the world was divided into millions of territories, roughly the size of a mile squared*. Once a player’s device was physically in a territory, that player would gain one “troop” every thirty seconds in that territory. You could also transport troops into the territory or attack other players. Whoever had the most troops in a territory owned it. Simple, right? Right. So here’s a heavily biased version of that game in and around Edmonton.
At the start 2014 I posted 8 news stories I thought would happen in the year 2014. In the interest of accountability let’s go back in time to my most view post (read it here) and see just how right I was. Since I am a ridiculous egomaniac, the possibility of me being dead wrong hasn’t even entered my mind. Also, since I have almost no patience for things that just don’t matter, I have no idea what I wrote in a blog post over a year ago. Continue Reading
Oh, you think you know flags? Do you really think that? Are you good enough to hit 152 in a row, with an audience, whilst five hours into some responsible New Year’s Eve drinking? Pop quiz hotshot, name these eleven flags!
New Year’s Eve is basically a participation ribbon for the entire world: congratulations everybody, we didn’t die or blow everything up! It’s like your birthday, except people actually care about New Year’s. For normal people a new year means a new hope. Hope for the future, for themselves, for fame, for blog views, for success, for George R R Martin to finish Game of Thrones before he dies of diabetes (I’m assuming), for money, and for a whole cadre of other unattainable non-goals. Hoping for random events is like protesting for world peace: yes, we all want it, but what exactly are YOU going to do about, I mean, other than clicking “like” on Facebook… you lazy slacktivist twit. Anyway, dark digression aside… here’s a Venn!
I’d like to thank my regular reader(s) and all the random folks out there that stumbled onto this blog in its first year of existence. Averaging upwards of 5 views a day may not seem like very much, but it is absolutely appreciated. My only hopes are that you laughed a few times and gained some sort of appreciation for the wonderful world of Venn diagrams and flags. The WordPress helper monkeys put together a nice little stat package for me and since I like random stats, I assume everyone else does… right?
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,100 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 35 trips to carry that many people.
Tonight, Air Asia flight QZ8501 from Surabaya, Indonesia to Singapore, carrying upwards of 200 souls, lost contact with air control. A search is underway for the missing jet and we can only hope for the most positive outcome. While it’s not my intention to distract from the more meaningful story, but since the flight was going to and from nations with similar flags… I would like to talk about flags.
On the 12th day of Oilers MacTavish gave to me:
12 Eakins hair flip
11 consecutive loses
10 unused tickets
9 playoff misses
8 close door meetings
7 different goalies
6 things about winning
5 Stanley Cups
4 defensive break downs
3 useless draft picks
2 tiers of fans
and the coattails of Wayne Gretzky…
Fly high brothers and sisters
We did it! We all got through another Christmas season with minimal family drama. No one got stabbed, no one boycotted dinner, there were no screaming matches, only a few passive aggressive comments, the ex didn’t show up drunk to pick up the kids, 911 was not called, no one got drunk and dropped the turkey, no one tried to lick Grey Goose off the couch, the drunk uncle didn’t drop N-bombs everywhere, no cola was mixed with scotch, and there was no discussion of returning from or going to rehab. It was, without question, a 97% successful family Christmas gathering. So, now that Christmas 2014 is in the books let’s look over what goes into happy family fun time with a handy Venn diagram. Feel free to clip and save for next year, so you too can enjoy your family!
Imagine, when you were born, someone gave you a bucket, and into this bucket you put a small polished pebble representing everything you care about. No matter how big or small a concern, one small polished pebble goes into the bucket if it represents something you truly care about. Family? One small pebble. Clean drinking water? One small pebble. A nutritious lunch? One small pebble. Never taking an elevator one floor? One small pebble. Now imagine further that someone came along once you were firmly established in your adult life and asked you for a few pebbles out of your bucket. Your bucket of fucks. Would you freely give away the carefully burdened pebbles in your bucket of fucks? Or would you hold tight to you bucket, protecting it and your fucks? Remember this fuck bucket, and its contents, are what deeply matter you. You would caress that bucket, nurture that bucket, that bucket of fucks, greedily guarding it contents.